The UNHINGED Insanity of GoAnimate Boris Anderson (& Qozak, TOO!)

You've read the article. We're doing a random post today. It's so random, you might just lose your mind (Please don't actually. We're just playin' around here)! With all of that out of the way, let's talk about two unhinged characters 

Ah, the internet. The place where people can be happy, stressed, depressed, or obessed—just like real life, except it just happens to be quite frivoulous! Well... what if I told you there is a single character that represents all things good or bad about the webs, and no, it isn't BonziBUDDY, despite what we want to believe. It's none other than GoAnimate Boris Anderson, Caillou's "dad" who is nothing more but an enigma.

That's right! It's the world's most angriest guy of all time. You'd may think that he's just some generic character with long hair... but if you have even seen GoAnimate grounded videos, then you'd know that he's not really "good" in the sense that you'd expect. Sure, his original Caillou counterpart is very naggy, and barely punishes his own son if he does something terrible, but that's the thing. He could, you know, learn to discipline his son more often, and the whole thing is overwith. However, that's not what this guy does at all. Instead, he punishes his son every time he does something. Whether it be accidentally falling at the store, or purposefully crying at a Chuck E. Cheese's, you'd bet that he has some sort of punishment for him, even if that means that he has to kill him. He's not really a villian, because sometimes... he just wants his son to learn. He's an anti-villian... a very pitiful anti-villian, who should be arrested in real-life.

So, why exactly do we call this guy "Unhinged"? Well, for starters, he's obviously some generic cartoon dad transformed into an obligatory anti-villain, and next, he's got a serious need for anger management. But... what about the thing that matters most, his physical appearance? Well, he's got a nice tan complexion, flowing brown hair, a nice deep voice, and a sharp nose! That's pretty cool, but appearance doesn't actually matter, unless of course, you are a cartoon character. Then, your designer(s) will want to make you really stand out.

Did we even talk about his strength? Some say he could beat up Ultra Instinct Shaggy, but we beg to differ because, well... Barney.EXE could probably kill him no problem-o, and he's not even that powerful if the real Barney walks in the room.

"Now, what's this talk about Qozak? Who is he? I wanna know!", is what you may actually be thinking right now. The truth is, is that he is a character that is actually introduced in "Joe Reuben" Cartoons, and that takes place way after the run of John Tvs. Who is he, and why is he in John Tvs, anyways? Well, let's see!

Qozak is a 100% original character, who has the head of a cricket with a bird's beak, and the body of a blue salamander. He is known for a few things, mainly going to America to fight off AI from destroying humanity, and appearing in a satire/social commentary book called "The Insane Book of Satire (*That Is Clean*), where he appears with Boris when Moral Beaver (from Moral Beaver's Road Trip) has to stay in a foreign land while David The Dove is busy with RV The Recreational Vehicle. In the book, they tell dumb jokes that are represented like comics from MAD Magazine (which, along with basic human philosophy (The good parts of it by the way!), and pop culture, has always been one of our humor influences for years). Then, at the end, Moral Beaver tells a funny story about a rich man (which is a parallel to The Foolish Rich Man), before he leaves to go on his plane. Qozak then punches Boris for being mean to Moral Beaver when he isn't looking, and then, Joe Reuben tells the audience that that was one of his satirical works, and that he'll make more serious/quirky works later.

Qozak is protrayed as rather cynical, but is also quite outgoing when it comes to his life, and his job, which is volunteering as a kiddie ride for fairs, churches, restaurants, and more. For some odd reason, Boris is his closest friend in John Tvs, and is also good friends with Yusuke Kitagawa, Drew Pickles, Nightcrawler, Fat Albert, Rabbid Yoshi, Dizzy, Retro & Trader, Uniqua, Ttark, and even Workin' Stiff, Workin' Hard, and Workin' Lazy. It isn't known how, after all of the good fictional characters (plus a few evil fictional characters who became good) went to the heavens to be with Galeem forever and ever, that he is still alive in the "Joe Reuben" Cartoons fictional universe, because that universe, all characters drawn are legally distinctive/parodies of already existing ones. Not to mention, a lot of characters are openly Christian, like Moral Beaver and his gang, as well as Joe Reuben and his family and all members of The Cartoon Church, and Qozak is as well, but doesn't ever mention it in John Tvs, due to its more comedic tone.

So, what do Qozak and Boris have in common? They have a few things in common, though it is mainly their mutual friendship as well as their similar interests. In John Tvs, a lot of the human characters and even some of the non-human characters grow to be better people, after they realize that they were drawn broken, and they need to become better. This is why many of the characters have more of an appreciation for nature (like what we demonstrated in our last blog post), and even food for that matter. Though, let me warn you right away that they can sometimes appreciate it too much, and of course, Boris still acts like an idiot whenever he doesn't get what he wants. Luckily, he has reformed, and, like Drew Pickles, he doesn't have children in this universe (It's a fairly dumb creative decision, by the way).

So, why'd I write this? I don't know. Humor? Yeah. Philosophy? Maybe. Just note that Joe Reuben Cartoons will most obviously be more Christian than what this ever will be!

!הרבה אהבה וברכות